An Untitled Work By Sarah Lyle

Happy Holidays everyone! There’s a lot to report this time around. Unfortunately, we didn’t get pictures of the stories below, so you’ll have to use your imagination.

Chapter One: Devin Meets the Eye

Before we left for Kyrgyzstan we always joked about the “eye,” the sheep eye, that is. And after being in country for a few months, I didn’t think that either of us would end up eating the sheep eyeball because we hadn’t seen it presented to any guests of honor. In fact, we hadn’t seen it at all. So imagine my surprise when I looked across the tablecloth and saw Devin scraping (yes, with a fork) the eye socket of a sheep. I was grossed out, but Devin seemed to be enjoying himself. When we all went outside for the next eating break, I decided to interview the courageous DD. Here’s how it went:

Sarah: Did you eat the eyeball?!

Devin: Yeah (nonchalantly).

Sarah: Eww! How was it?

Devin: Good, it was the closest thing to having crab meat since being in country. It was a little stringy. You don’t eat the whole thing at once, you just pick a little bit off. But I only stuck to the “white meat,” avoiding all the veins and retina.

Sarah: (no response, just shock)

By the way, Devin almost got to eat sheep brain that night, but they weren’t able to crack open the skull. He was a little disappointed! (no response, just shock…again)

Chapter Two: Walter’s Tragic Thanksgiving

Unfortunately for us, Kyrgyz people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here, so instead of getting a turkey at the local market, Devin went to the bazaar to find one. Devin, along with our local friend Bakyt, went to the “Avian Bird Flu Bazaar” (as Devin calls it) to find a suitable bird for our thirteen person American feast. He left the house with nothing but his courageous attitude (and his Peace Corps ID…see next chapter). Thirty minutes later, after I inquired into the status of the mission, he reassured me with the following text message, “Have Walter. He’s looking skinny since moving to Kyrgyzstan though.” Another thirty minutes later, I checked in with my brave huntsman, and received the following correspondence, “Walter just pooped in taxi. What do I do?” In a state of shock, I wasn’t sure what to do. Poor Devin. Poor Walter. The three of them then went to Bakyt’s apartment and killed, plucked, and cleaned Walter. Two hours later Devin returned with our Thanksgiving friend. He was quite delicious when we cooked him the next day. And we were all very thankful to have real turkey for Thanksgiving.

Oh, and to clarify, our turkey was named Walter by another volunteer named Lindsay who names her turkey Walter every year. She told us that it’s a tradition in her family. And in addition to naming him, she, with her approval and encouragement of her father, also “shit-talks” him with such taunting statements as, “I’m gonna eat you! You’re mine, Walter! You’re gonna meet you’re maker!” All of this is said in a quite menacing tone, which makes me happy that Walter is already dead. Poor Walter.

Chapter Three: Police Harassment, Meeting the Mayor and Police Chief, and More Harassment

When we arrived to our site in Jalalabat, we were warned by veteran volunteers that the militsia (aka police officers) sometimes harass foreigners. After being here for over a year, however, none of us had been bothered by the militsia or asked to show our “documents.” Then it happened. Devin and another volunteer named Nate (who had a very dangerous-looking beard) were stopped by the militsia. They asked to see identification. After showing them their Peace Corps IDs, Devin and Nate left. There was no problem, but we teased Nate that because he wore a beard, the locals think he is a terrorist (we’ve actually heard locals say this). So Nate shaved his beard and Devin went on with his business until a few days later when Devin was stopped again by the militsia. This time it was 10 o’clock at night and Devin was by himself. The militsia stopped him and were surprised to see a “white guy” wearing a kalpak (Devin had just received a kalpak because he said an impressive speech in Kyrgyz at a wedding reception). After encircling him, asking him if he was drunk, smelling his breath, and checking his ID, they discovered that Devin wasn’t the criminal they were looking for, and proceeded to ask if they could taste some of the goodies he was bringing back from the wedding feast. We both became a little concerned that Devin had been stopped twice in one week, so when our Safety and Security Coordinator (SSC) and Country Director came to visit us and see how things were going, we decided to tell them about the recent militsia incidents. Then we all went to introduce ourselves to the mayor of Jalalabat. He gave us his card and told us to contact him if we had any problems. Then we went to the police station to meet the head of the militsia. He brought us into a room and we introduced ourselves to a room of 60 militsia men and women. He also gave us his card and told us to call if we had any problems. We felt confident that we were safer in Jalalabat.

Two days later Devin was coming home from Nate’s village after helping Nate and his host family plant wheat. The militsia again stopped Devin. One officer pushed into Devin with his shoulder and asked to see his ID. Devin asked to see his, and the officer replied that since he had a uniform, he didn’t need to show his ID. Three other officers came up and asked Devin if he was a thief. In a state of disbelief, Devin answered no, and after several other questions, they let him go. Oh, Kyrgyzstan!